As in Maxwell Smart. Training for May finished as:
|Open Water Swimming
Five hundred, ninety nine point eight six miles. Missed 600 miles by that much.
Offer: 2 kids bikes, available to anyone handier than us.
We have two kids bikes, suitable for kids from 7-10. The boy’s bike has a flat and needs to have the tube replaced.
But… there is a catch, because there is always a catch.
Long story short: We tried to repair the boy’s bike tire. We couldn’t repair it, so we took the wheel of the girl’s bike to put on the boy’s bike. But then we couldn’t get the brakes adjusted. So we tried to put the wheel back on the girl’s bike, but had the same issue with the brakes. Then we sighed, had a glass of wine and went and bought two more bikes because it just wasn’t going to happen.
So there are actually two bikes available. they are both complete, but each has one wheel off. The girl’s bike can be usably assembled immediately (but apparently not by us). The boy’s bike needs a tire repair and then can be usably assembled (but again, evidently not by us).
You’d think we’d learn.
Offer: Giant cast iron column (6 feet at least)
Heavy iron column, approximately 4 inch diameter, rusted exterior, heavy duty iron chain. Was used as an anchor for a floating dock. Very heavy. Substantial. Robust. An iron column you would be proud to own. Did I mention that it is heavy?
All the fine features you would expect from a giant cast iron column. For all your giant cast iron column needs.
Offer: Telephone poles. No, really.
We have two telephone poles to offer. No, I don’t know why. They were here when we bought the place. Seriously, it’s inexplicable. If nothing else, they’re a fantastic conversation piece. “Are those… telephone poles?” “Yes.” “Why?”. “We don’t know. Maybe aliens.”
These are 6-10 feet tall, standard telephone pole diameter. These would probably make for an excellent landscaping berm. Heavy. You’ll need at least two people to load these things.